![]() This could include having a glass of wine or a cup of tea together at the end of the day, taking a walk after dinner or giving each other a neck rub while watching television. Ms Spierings said it's important to ease the transition from daily life to couple time by 'building bridges' and creating an opportunity for intimacy to happen. In a long-term relationship, life is often busy and when things are rushed, it can feel weird to go from doing the dishes to making out with your partner. Once they start to feel a little bit aroused and relaxed, the response desire kicks in and they don't mind continuing and participating in more intense physical activities," Ms Spierings says. "Sometimes a partner may not feel any spontaneous desire, but may still be up for a lovely massage or a bath together. Having a bath or shower together, giving each other a massage or snuggling up on the couch can make you feel closer and more connected. "I recommend sometimes having a ban on actual intercourse altogether and to focus on everything else instead," Ms Spierings says. Sex doesn't have to be the be all and end all, and focusing on other kinds of physical intimacy can help couples who are struggling with mismatched libidos. Ms Spierings says the point of a sex date is to set aside time where you and your partner can focus on being physical with each other. And the sad truth is, by the time we get home from a date night, we're often too tired to reconnect with our partner physically. While many of us are happy to prioritise a date, which might include dinner and a movie, very few of us take the same approach when it comes to our sex lives. "Whether sex actually happens is not the point, it is about being intimate together in a physical way, and making sure that happens," she says. It might sound more like the way to approach your job than a means of spicing up your sex life, but there are plenty of reasons to make regular appointments with your partner just to have sex, according to sex therapist and relationship counsellor Désirée Spierings. ![]() ![]() If you're feeling unsatisfied with the amount of sex you're having, here's what the experts recommend. Research has found 54 per cent of Australian men and 42 per cent of Australian women in heterosexual relationships are unhappy with the frequency of sex in their relationship - mostly because they're wanting more. When your relationship has reached the 'ever after' stage of your once inseparable, giddy, can't-live-without-you love, maintaining the passion can seem impossible. ![]()
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